What a glorious Lord's day it is out there. I can look out my office window and watch the birds fly by, see the neighbour's garden (in the summer) and marvel at the depth of the blue in that sky. I'm also looking at a picture of our grand-daughter, who was supposed to visit us this weekend, but she has the pink eye and I'm all stuffed up, so she stayed with her regular sitter instead, while her parents are on a little holiday. I was so dissapointed that we had to postpone that time together. I truly now understand the "Grandma" kind of love that comes from the part of my heart that was jump-started when first I held that dear little girl in my arms. She's a joy that God granted us after our own little ones left the nest, and believe me when I say that I quickly discovered what ENS (Empty Nest Syndrome) was all about. My arms physically ached, my heart forgot how to feel and life as I had known it seemed to dissapear forever. My husband, who thought he knew how to comfort me, called one of my sisters in despair, asking if maybe she could somehow cheer me up. I knew that my own time for having more babies was over, but oh, I was so NOT ready for life in an empty house.
Thank goodness for God's love and mercy, for through a great support system I learned how to better deal with the loneliness. I was never one to sit and mope, but during that "recovery" period, I had my share of blue, sorrowful moments that no amount of even "cat comfort" could cure. I missed that youngest boy running up the stairs asking, "What's for supper" and I missed his bass guitar beating out the notes from his band practice music. I missed hearing him strum on my accoustic guitar and I missed answering the phone, because after he left it seemed that no one called anymore. Well, you get the picture and if you're going through any of your own sadness, there are many ways to get help today if your symptoms go beyond the normal gloom. I Googled ENS and found 419,000 results so that's a good place to start. I realized there was no shame in what I was feeling and with time and love from my spouse and family I accepted this as a time to spread my wings. My husband and I became involved in music,we even opened our own venue and ran it for over 6 years. Life was so busy that I wonder today how we ever managed to get everything done. But, everyone's situation is different and needs to be handled with utmost care and attention. Sometimes I think back and remember thinking, 'Won't it be wonderful when the kids are grown and I have time to myself". Well, that is true in all kinds of differnt ways and you just have to tell yourself that "this is another chapter in my life". Our children have not left the planet, they've only spread their own wings and that's what God intended to happen. He understands our sorrow more than any other human could. I believe His tears fall when he loses on of "His" own.
But my intention today was not to dwell on sadness, it was to wish each one of you a "new day" and God's blessings to you and "Yours".
Please drop by again.
Barb
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